tequila after ice cream

2.05.2006

But I'm le tired

So what's been going on in my world?

been running on about 3-4 hours of sleep daily for the past two weeks
learned that mixing a triple shot latte, 2 No-Doz pills, a Camel light and a Mountain Dew is a bad combo.
been reading so much bad British literature
wrote something brilliant for my Creative Writing course (yay me!)
continue to love to my job
working on an opinion column
been to two funerals in the past week
got hit on by a farm boy in Hill Country
met someone really cool, but turns that this individual is an idiot
found a $50 on the street
le stressed out, but i have A's in 3 of my courses

sorry for such a crap-tacular entry. Once I'm done with Daniel Deronda, I'll have a lower stress level and I'll be able to update this thing more.

"Its time I got back to the good life/Its time i got back/Its time I got back/and I dont even know how I got off track/I wanna go back ... yeaaaaaaaah!" -- Weezer, "The Good Life"

8 Comments:

At 11:50 AM, Anonymous said...: Ahh you found $50 on the street? Next time you treat me to the movies and a preztel :P

I'm glad things are working out well in your new job, even though you aren't sleeping anymore

Good luck fending off those commies in your BritLit class

~pi
At 7:37 PM, Razorsyntax said...: FREE iPod!!!

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At 7:37 PM, Razorsyntax said...: FREE iPod!!!

Normally I don't do this dort of thing but when I got it in the mail I just had to tell everyone else. Seriously, check this out. Sign up for a free trial just ONE of their offers (cancel as soon as you get the credit so you get 100% of you money back) and then refer just FIVE friends to do the same!!! And then they ship it off to you. It's absolutely free.

http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=28520969
At 4:03 PM, creechman said...: I like your blog, but still think English should be our official language.

:)
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At 7:17 AM, Master prophet e. bernard jordan said...: Nice reading. And a nice blog template,

Laws of thinking

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1.30.2006

Since U've Been Gone

Geez, could I be any more gay-er with that title? It's been two weeks since I've last posted something on this thing and for that I apologize. My world has been less than cooperative with me. School, work, life, men, women, fucking teenagers, crazy gypsies, brother, family mess, my new addiction (danm!); all have been consuming my strengths. I thought the life of a creative writing major should have been easier. Alas, I've been in a constant stressed out situation since school began.

I was working on a story for my fiction workshop last week and needless to say, it was going down the drainer. I couldn't think up anything "funny" or "creative" Somehow, I ended up with this sentence in the middle of the page.

"Life is an ant -- so small that you just want to smooth it, that you can't help but smooth it, that you'll leave the batroom telling yourself you won't smoosh it, but then you'll go back, and smoosh it"

Yeah, I have no idea what sentence means at all so please don't ask. The creepy thing is that I read the EXACT same sentnece in Surbuban Teenage Wasteland Blues, a short story by Tao Lin, a day after I finished my story. Do I have the gift of forsight? Magical Powers? A Jesus-like ability? Or do I have suburban teenage wasteland blues. I am still a teenager (On September 1 I turn 20). I live in this god-forsaken surburban wasteland. And, my depressed episodes have been more frequent (e.g., I cried after I heard 'Where is my Mind?" by The Pixies). I don't know and I don't think any would know. Perhaps I should just have a bit more fun and not kill myself completely yet.

So, I am going to push myself to update this blog a little more frequently. I have so many things to talk about that I even made a list. The list includes:

How teenagers are the bane of my existence
How Facebook has become a heroin-like addiction to me
I got hit by a Gypsy with a handlebar moustache the other day
The Universe has this vendetta against me
Chuck Norris "facts"
As each day passes by, I'm becoming more and more of a hipster/emo/whatever.
I'm pledging to a frat and I think half the members are gay

I know the list seems very egocentric, but its my blog and it has sadly become a personal blog. I know there are many (too many really) blogs in the world that are inked with trite stories and pathetic day to day anectodes. At least my personal anecdotes are hilariosuly creepy.

So kids, keep reading, learning and loving. I'm not going anywhere –– yet.

1 Comments:

At 3:16 AM, KidsMenu? said...: hey christian! nice to read about what's going on in your life. i'll be in houston this summer most likely so we must catch up. miss you, julie hsu!

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1.17.2006

Back in Session

Aiy, evil classes start tomorrow. Granted, being stressed out over readings, papers, professors, work and that wierd guy that keeps staring you is much better than laying around -- but alas, I'm lazy person that takes pleasure in sleep. So, good luck to everyone in their 2006 Spring Semester. I believe that this cartoon is fitting for our return to the books.

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1.15.2006

Grammarians! Attack!

After a six month hiatus from the job force, I finally landed a job. Granted, the pay sucks, the hours are worse and I think some people already find me annoying, but I now have a job that -- I hope -- will benefit me in the long run. I am a new copy editor for The Daily Cougar, UH's newspaper.

Ever since I aced the interview and copy edting exam last Tuesday, I've been noticing alot of grammar and syntax mistakes in national publications. For example, this gem was found on page 85 of Jan. 9's New Yorker.

"What those of us who know Agee's criticism almost by heart read over and over, however, is [sic] the reviews that appeared in The Nation. Some of them are no more than a few sentences or a phrase."

Is? Perhaps someone should review their subject-verb rules before writing again.

Another responsibility of my new job is make sure that all the facts are correct. Meaning that all dates, addresses, figures and even names are correct and accurate. If this responsibility is given to college-level copy editors, surely professional news organizations would be have all their facts check. Sadly, everyone is human -- even ABC News.

ABC News forgot to spell check someone's name. That someone is Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki. I guess ABC has their own type of spell check. Just in case ABC News corrects their error before y'all see it, I got this image from The Malcontent.

In other news, I found that classifieds in the Houston Press are just insane. Maybe only crazies and creepies put out ads. But tell me this, how the hell is she a "model" and who would want to share a house with her?

"The fault, dear brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings" -- Cassius to Brutus from Julius Ceasar

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1.13.2006

Fat Bastard

Last weekend I, for whatever reason, got stood up on a first date – a date he sought for. After five Dr Pepper’s, a basket of bread and a hour of strange looks from the waitress, I decided to leave the date’s rendezvous and head for some retail therapy. Nothing can cheer me up like the smell of used books in a veiled bookstore. Walking through the aisles and looking for books for my literature classes I, unfortunately, ran into another notch of the creepies.

Only in Houston – well, Texas and the South in general – can you smile at someone and have them return the polite gesture. Sometimes, these small gestures of good manners can lead you into undesirable situations. In the antique section of Half Price books, I made the mistake of being a friendly, Southern boy. There he stood – more like struggled to stand – the corpulent man that would cross the line from being friendly to just being disturbingly creepy. Three times my width and twice as short, the corpulent bastard wobbled closer to me. He took a simple, friendly smile as an excuse to invade my personal space. A wooden cane on the left and a leg brace on the right, the fat bastard hauled the fat over his belt next to me in the aisle. I was boxed-in his weight and shadow blocked the exit of the aisle. I turned my back, hoping he would take the hint and leave my presence. Sadly, the fat bastard didn’t take the hint and remained in my presence.

“So what are you looking for?”, the fat bastard breathed.
“Oh, just browsing around,” I replied.
“You come here often?”
“Yeah, I guess”
“I’ve never seen you here cutie”

Before he finished the last sentence, I made the mistake of making eye contact with the fool and now, the stench of his breath, which was a mixture of stale, fast food and cheap, malt liquor, was now on my person. His pudgy fingers were strangling his cane as he edge closer to me. I can now see his salt and pepper stubble, the tan oval bifocal glasses that I thought only existed in the 1980s and of course, the hair plugs were more obvious than his attempt to hide the ketchup stain on his pocket protector.

“So what are you into?” fat bastard said.
“Oh stuff,” I sighed as I tried to squeeze behind him.
“You’re a cute one you know," he flattered me.

I was stuck. I couldn’t maneuver around his gravitational force. I felt the wooden cane on my leg and yes, he had managed to trap me. I could be a rude person and ask him to step aside, but alas, I am not that kind of guy.

“How about if I take you home ?” he begged.
“Oh, I think my friend is here,” I said as I excused myself.
“C’mon, I know how to please the young. Don’t let my age, weight, cane and leg brace fool you. I’m quite flexible and versatile 50-year-old”
“Excuse me, I have to go”
“Let me take you out. Give me a reason to take out the ol’ whip”

Finally, I saw my window of freedom. The fat bastard moved to side, leaving me with my escape of his corpulent hell. I walked hauled ass from that bookstore. Fat bastard was speechless, maybe breathless, but he started to wobble and roll after me. Without looking back I exited one of my favorite bookstores. I edged to the glass exit, knowing that fat boulder was rolling behind me. He would have crushed my body, but thankfully, his leg brace got caught with a bookcart.

2 Comments:

At 11:18 PM, Connie said...: . . .
At 11:55 PM, Easy E said...: That is the creepiest story I've heard from you yet. I mean...wow.

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1.09.2006

Sexy Girls Eat Food

If there's a facebook group about it, then you know it must be important. Honestly, look at this poor thing. Looks like some spread wax all over a skeleton and gave her a dress. Oh wait, that's Ann Coulter.

In other news, who wants to come with me to see her and her amazing lips on March 2?

"Perhaps life is just that [...] a dream and a fear." -- Joseph Conrad

3 Comments:

At 9:04 PM, Anonymous said...: Ew she's such a whitetrash skank whose only food is cocaine

~Pi
At 12:02 AM, Easy E said...: Not that I'm a fan of Ms. Lohan, but I think she was having some personal problems in her life and went to rehab for the anorexia thing. That picture is old, she's closer to normal now.
At 1:33 AM, Jay Bizzle said...: Ann Coulter is a closed minded bitch...yes I said it. A total and complete bitch.

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1.07.2006

Martha Stewart's Therapy

I'll be the first one to admit that I seek retail therapy to help me cope with some of my problems. Don't jump to conclusions, I'm not talking about $300-Blazer-type of retail therapy that Hot Pink guy goes through, but rather I spend money on books, used books, writing stuff, and pens. I thought that my literary retail therapy was another sign that I'm the black sheep of my family, until I saw my mom's joy when she came back from Home Depot last night. My mom's way to cope with issues is to buy things for the house; cookie cutters, drapes, pizza cutters candles, matching towels, "cute" frames with "cute" messages and now, toilets are on her list. Last night my mom, along with my stepdad, brought home a new porcelain toilet for their bathroom. The old toilet works fine, it does what a toilet is suppose to do and then some. I guess the toilet marks the end of her Martha Stewart shopping frenzy that my mom went through this week. Monday she bought a stainless steel pizza cutter because of insubordinate workers. Tuesday my mom bought a new juicer because she think she's gaining weight (she weighs 130, isn't that fine?). She brought home a new set of knives on Wednesday night, three of which are designed soley for vegetables, because of a bitchy customer. Thursday, new drapes were everywhere around the house because, at least from what I gathered, she was belittled for being Hispanic. I can't figure out why she bought a new toilet Friday night, but something must have happened that day or maybe they just needed a new toilet. Either way, my mom was way too excited when that porcelain piece of pleasure was opened -- almost an orgasmic, religious experience type of joy if you ask me. Oh, why can't she be a normal like me and drink her problems away while enjoying a good book.

In other news, I giggled a bit when I saw him the other day. Dude, why did I giggled over a guy who has a male hyphenated name (Cerota-Rothman). Sounds like a white guy playing the "race card" to get ahead.

"Let go [...] 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown." -- Let Go by Frou Frou

3 Comments:

At 9:34 PM, Anonymous said...: Ew I hate when people buy stuff as soon as some little thing upsets them

Hahaha Cerota-Rothman

~Pi
At 4:57 AM, Rock.the.Casbah said...: Could be worse. My mom takes down walls when she's got to vent. Sometimes - if it's something small - she'll just paint the walls (or ceiling, or floors) or move big rocks around the back yard. But usually she takes down walls. My parents had a rule when they were together that she could only take down one wall at a time. When they divorced, she took down a washroom wall. And it stayed down for a year.

But then, she will also do this things if she is in a really good mood (that is drunk and listening to the Rolling Stones).

I'd be happy with a new set of knives. ;) Ah, family!
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because everyone has their quirks, kinks and guilty pleasures

: Name: ceo

I -- one of the most eloquent badasses that you will meet -- have a life that's like an indie movie but funnier, enjoy "boys who do girls like they're boys", and have an affinity for lazy Sunday mornings and mojitos.

View my complete profile

tequila after ice cream

2.05.2006

But I'm le tired

8 Comments:

1.30.2006

Since U've Been Gone

1 Comments:

1.17.2006

Back in Session

0 Comments:

1.15.2006

Grammarians! Attack!

0 Comments:

1.13.2006

Fat Bastard

2 Comments:

1.09.2006

Sexy Girls Eat Food

3 Comments:

1.07.2006

Martha Stewart's Therapy

3 Comments:

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